Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wow alot has happened since i last blogged.

A few weeks ago I had the most wonderful surprise. I got a + on a home pregnancy test. I have been off the pill for 2yrs and wanted another baby. But I didn't want to go through all of the fertility stuff we went through to try and get pregnant with Chloie.
We had just about given up and there the + was.

Well after seeing the dr the baby had no heart beat and was not growing like it should. I was put on progesterone supplements because mine was low. The last ultrasound I had showed no heart beat and no growth. The dr also said it looked like things were starting to breakdown.

I was sent home to decide to let nature take it's course or go in for a d&c. For many reasons I don't want to have a d&c unless it is absolutely necessary. So it has been a week since I received the news my baby isn't going to make it. Nothing has happened so far. I wake up every day wondering of today is the day.

This is one of the hardest things to go through. I have had a few people say but you don't know the child so it should be fine. Well no I'm sorry the moment that i found out I was pregnant and saw it on the ultrasound I fell in love. Just like I did when I found out I was pregnant with Chloie. Every day I pray to God that I can get through this and that the baby knows it was loved.

I couldn't get through this with out the support, love thoughts, and prayers of my wonderful family and friends. I don't know what I would do with out them. Please continue to pray. The dr said it could take up to 3wks and it has only been one. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and support!

Now 2wks later:

I want to say thank you for all the wonderful words of love, thought and prayers we have received from family and friends. The past 2wks have been horrible waiting for something to happen. I picked up the phone so many times to call the dr to schedule the d&c but couldn't.

Well now nature is taking it's course. ( I want go into everything)
This is one of the most emotionally and physically painful and draining thing i have been through.

I just wanted to let everyone know i'm not ignoring you if you have called, sent email or comment. The past 2wks i have been on an emotional roller coaster and now this week is even worse.

I promise to get back to everyone soon. I just need time to rest, think and take care of myself!

Again thanks for all the prayers, thoughts and love! It really helps more than you ever know!


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